I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
