I could make wine with my vomit
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
