porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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