So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
