Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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