Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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