He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
