I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the liver wants what the liver wants
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
