have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
