I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize