he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
