Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I believe in your delicious
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
