Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
