I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
