i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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