Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
