just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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