Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
