Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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