Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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