Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
