idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
