Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize