I need to stop coming to work sober
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
