one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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