"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
