The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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