I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
