The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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