Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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