Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
