I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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