how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
