and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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