Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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