Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
