I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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