Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
