OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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