pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
