He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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