You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
