I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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