the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
