Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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