the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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