I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
