If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
