i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
