insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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