oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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