the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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