I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
