i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
