you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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