I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
