areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
