I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
