Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
