i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize