dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a hot homeless man
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
