Don't make out with my wife yet
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
